so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
Randomize
