Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
