you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
