it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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