dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
