He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
