Well apparently he's into motor boating.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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