i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Success! We fucked roommates!
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