I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Randomize
