summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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