He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
