Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
