Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
