in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
