fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
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nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
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I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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