So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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