pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
it glows. i had to have it.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
