either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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