Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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