woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just gift wrapped bread.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
