Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
