I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
