got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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