hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
