I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
