That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
