Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize
