I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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