Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
