What a fucking waste of an outfit
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
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I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
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I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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