Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
