Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
