I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
