Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
