I love black thongs
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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