I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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