careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
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