Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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