I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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