i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
