Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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