Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
