The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Can I color on your dick again?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize