after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Randomize