the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
