this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize