Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
