Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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