fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
