You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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