i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
