I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
