he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Randomize
