why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
