my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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