Sacagawea was the original milf.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I am available for nakedness
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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