ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
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