My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
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He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
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Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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