I look better un-naked...
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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