i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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