So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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